Friday, August 22, 2008

because I HATE having that post at the top

the pity party isn't over, not by any means. I'm still frustrated and upset by things that shouldn't bother me as much as they do. I think it's a general feeling of drifting, of not being in control of things, that is making me cranky and insane. On the surface, things are great, and underneath, they are still great. But for some reason (entitlement? selfishness? greed? All of the above?) I feel like I should have these other pieces fall into place as well. Is that so unreasonable? Probably it is, but those of you who know me in real life will not be surprised to hear me admit that tend to have, um, higher standards. I expect a lot of myself and of those around me. I expect to have things go my way, and when they don't go according to my well-laid-out plan, I kind of don't know how to deal. Like right now. I don't know how to deal with not being able to see visible results of all my efforts. I don't know how to deal with not being in control of the housing market, and the 72 foreclosures in my neighborhood that are driving my home's value into the sewer, of when and where my next work assignment is. I just don't like it. So does that help explain why I'm being such a grouch? Maybe, but probably not. If I were talking to myself, I'd probably tell myself to go build a bridge and get over it. Whatev.

anyhoo, I have only taken one day off this week, and that was Wednesday, when I was just so fried by things going on that I just couldn't bear going out into the hot Texas evening for a run. But besides that, I've stuck to the running, and have even fit in some flexibility and strength and balance stuff thanks to the Wii Fit pack we got last weekend. It's pretty awesome if not a bit elementary, but the kids love it, and I get some accountability with it if I don't log in and at least do a fit test every day. so it's pretty cool. I do like the way the little Mii voice says, "Measuring, measuring" at the beginning. We all walk around saying that now. I hate the balance games, since I am so uncoordinated, but the rest of the stuff seems pretty fun as we start to unlock things. I especially like the soccer game where they pelt soccer balls, cleats and pandas at you. Weird, yes, but hilarious at the same time.

so, I'm trying to get a better outlook on things and convince myself that things always end up the way they're supposed to and maybe I need to let some things go. It's not easy to do, that's for sure. But I'm trying. Really. I. Am. Wish me luck. Peace out folks for now.

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