Friday, October 20, 2006

where did the week go?

hmm, between hearing some not-great news on something that I'd been led to believe was a sure thing job-wise and having the Elder Child suspended from school for defending himself against the class bully again, I've had a less than fabulous week. harumph. But, I have to keep reminding myself that things may not be what we want them to be, but that eventually, we look back and are understanding of the hardships we face, for they shape us into what we ultimately become. So I've been bummed and down in the dumps, but in the end, I've still got a really good deal going on here. I'm just frustrated because I see all kinds of things in the future that I'd love to do, and they not so much hinge on these changes, but having some stability and choice would help them come to fruition much sooner.

Could I be any more vague? I'm just rambling now, but I guess that's what happens when you start to get older. Oh, yeah, that -- my birthday is now a week away. And facing another year on the calendar seems to send me into introspective mode. I feel like my time to make changes is running out, because time slips away all too quickly, and life is too short to be unhappy or even mildly unsatisfied. You know, I feel like if something isn't like I want, then I need to do whatever it takes to make it right. But that's easier said than done sometimes. I'm not sure that I ever had any grand plan for my life, but now that I'm officially closer to 40 than to 30 (um, yeah, that happened last year, BTW), I feel like I was late to the race and have a lot to catch up on.

Ugh. I guess I should go clean up and try to relax for a while before I collapse into bed. Hub took Elder Child to hockey practice -- he was cleared for contact again, so I'm hoping he makes it off the ice in one piece. They should have wrapped up by now, and I'm trying not to read anythign into the fact that I haven't heard from them yet.

I just finished the last of my weekday runs -- 6 miles in heavy end-of-rush-hour traffic. I used to hate running in the evenings, I actually kind of still do, but the weather is pretty nice now right when I get home from work, and it beats having to drag my arse out of bed at o-dark-thirty. Plus on Fridays, I know The Dread Pirate DinoBoy is happily ensconsed at Grandma's watching Scooby Doo DVDs while Elder Child and Hub are at hockey, so nobody misses me much. I can take my time and mosey around afterward. Like I'm doing now.

I finally registered online for the marathon this week, so I'm really going to do this thing next Sunday. I have one more 3-miler tomorrow, 8 on Sunday morning, then 3-4-2 in the middle of next week. And then showtime, ready or not. Gotsa run. If I get a chance this weekend I'll post my goals like the Nancinator. I'm not sure that I'm brave enough to let them out of my head and put them down --- that makes them real.

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