because I've been in a semi-deep funk lately, I give you the following things that more-or-less suck:
My weight – we had “family night,” mandated by the school, last night, and spent it looking at photo albums together. In all the pix from Disney last summer, I looked awesome – as flat a stomach as I’ve ever had, toned legs, just generally I looked good. Still had a way to go, but I would KILLL to look like that again. That was 13 pounds ago, and I’m not sure what it’s going to take to get me back there again. At this point, I’m just trying to get to the start line of Miracle Match without having to roll there.
My job – obviously I can’t go into specifics, but suffice it to say that my job is high on the list of things in my life that sucketh
My commute – on its own, or because the end point is the above-mentioned job, the drive I have to and from work is slowly yet surely sucking the lifeforce from my body. I love my car, but I really wish I didn’t have to spend 10+ hours a WEEK in it. There are jams and construction along the way nearly every day, and because I head from west to east, I drive into the sun ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME. Add in one or two stupid people who don’t know how to drive, and I want to jump off a cliff. Average time to get home this week and last has been nearly 70 minutes. It fries my brain, stresses me out, and leaves me too wiped out to function normally. And it makes me bitchy and demanding to the kids in the morning, because if we don’t leave at exactly the right time, my whole day goes to sh!t.
My eating – I am an emotional eater. I think I figured that out way back in college when I’d had a crappy day and suddenly realized I’d eaten an entire bag of sunchips without even thinking about it. You would think that arming myself with that knowledge would go a long way toward stopping the behavior, but nope. I still find myself craving and needing sugar and chocolate and the crap that my body needs least when I’m stressed. Which, if you look at #2 and #3 on this list, is pretty much all the freakin’ time.
My house – I love my house. But it’s a total disaster right now, because my housekeeper hasn’t been AWOL. She was set to come back about three weeks ago, and actually showed up and started but then had to leave because her child (who has spina bifida and has a stomach tube and is in a wheelchair) was injured at school that day. She hasn’t been back yet. And I’m too lazy to do it if she could show up any day now. Hub finally gave in and mopped the kitchen floor and swabbed down the toilets and the tub, but only half-heartedly. So it’s not at all a health hazard, yet, but it’s certainly not as clean as it should be considering I finally caved and got a regular once-a-month person. But I feel guilty about nagging her to see if she’s coming back, and I kinda think having to deal with her kid put her off schedule and such. So I’ve been patient while my house degrades around me.
The Rangers – yeah, it goes without saying that they suck. They have for 30 years, why would we expect it to be any different this year? But watching the Yankees erupt in the 3rd inning last night reinforced how much we’ve been cheated out of quality baseball in this town.
The weather – it’s going to be 93 today. And yet, when I look at the calendar, it says October 4. Surely there is something amiss. I mean, I know I’m in Texas, but c’mon and cut me a break already. Humidity is high, but not beastly, thankfully. Otherwise, I’d really have to just find a deep dark cool cave to climb into until November.
Hub and the kids are awesome, meanwhile, as are all my friends at work and in real life. So that’s why I’m not in deep depression like I could be. Things beyond the above are stuff I can’t complain about. I just feel stuck and that’s not a good feeling.
So, there. Sorry to be Debbie Downer.
ORN – 9.5 miles today. Had to get up at 4:25. As in AM. I’d have done 10 except I ran out of time – see #3 above. Slow and tortuous pace – average for the 8.5 I did on the streets was 10:50/mile. I finished up the last one on the treadmill at the house after making sure boys were up out of bed. But I felt good once I talked myself into not bailing by mile 2.
Yesterday’s ORN – 5 miles. Nothing remarkable. Didn’t have the Garmin or the iPod, so it was all just about running.