Wednesday, May 21, 2008

My Boy

We interrupt this (unintentional) hiatus from blogging to bring you a little post about the Elder Child.

We've been through so much with him in the last two years, with school and having trouble with bullies and him not interacting with his peers and lack of initiative and not living up to his potential. We had so many nights of fighting over homework and over him being a complete slacker, something that is so opposite of what we knew he was capable of being. There were days back in 5th and 6th grade when, although we have always loved him with every fiber of our being, we didn't really like him very much. The struggles of him asserting his independence and becoming his own soul with his determination to do what he wanted to do were tearing our family apart, and causing strain in our marriage and with his baby brother. There was a lot of shouting and slamming of doors and hands thrown up in sheer frustration. There were a lot of days when the gleam in his eye was missing, when the clever, engaging child he had once been seemed to be gone for good. He was sullen and if not unhappy, certainly not the carefree spirit he used to be when he was younger.

But in the past year, he has blossomed again. He has found a group of good true friends in his hockey pals, friends that we think he'll keep for years to come, if not for his entire life. He has discovered new talents and new interests (one of which is riding his bicycle with his mom, which of course delights the heck outta me!) and has started to assert his personality in a more positive way, and to approach things in a slightly more mature manner. Is he still a total goof sometimes, as adolescent boys are prone to be? Absolutely. But he is happy again, and he is finding that a job well done at school, on the ice or at home is its own reward.

My baby boy turned 13 this week. We celebrated all weekend, with a dinner out with the family (fondue -- yummy!) Sunday night and then he got to go to Game 6 of the NHL Western Conference Finals Monday evening with Dad. Stars lost, but he still enjoyed the night out and the playoff atmosphere. And to top off the landmark week, he was inducted into his school's chapter of the National Junior Honor Society this evening. How far we've come. I know the teen years are supposed to be the hardest after the Terrible Twos, but I feel like we're on the upswing here. We shall see, but it looks like we're on the right path again after wandering around for a couple of years there.

Happy Birthday, Baby Angel. I love you.


Marissa said...

way to go, elder child!! now you just have to wait until he's in high school and the fun begins again. :)

Ellie Hamilton said...

Skatemom -- we went through what sounds like deja vu with our son. When he got to high school, he decided that the only things that mattered were band, baseball, and passing so he could graduate and get out of there. Things got better when he took that attitude. He's grown up to be a very productive adult with (now) two beautiful daughters and an active career.

I need your email address! It's not enabled on your profile. I want to answer your comments on my blog!

Bev said...

That is awesome! It's so hard to watch our children struggle. Team sports are an awesome thing to cement friendships and instill disciple. Great job to your son and great job to his parents.

Thanks for the hydration reminder. As a matter of fact I was going to take some Gatorade with me Tuesday and just forgot, so I only had water. When we were done, I was a little light headed. I won't make that mistake again.

Have a good one!

batgrl said...

Someday when he's having another particularly hard time - and there's always one, that'll happen on through adulthood - you can sit down with him and remind him of this hard time, and how you all got through it. And that it passed. Sometimes that's the best part, having someone remind you that the bad times do go away, and that things get better, and that your parents will always love you.

Sounds like you two are being good parents!