Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Not strong enough

Do you ever have those days where you feel you are not strong enough to do something?  Today is one of those days for me. For no particular reason, I feel like I have a lot of stuff in front of me, some of it running related, some of it work related, some of it family responsibilities. And I don't want to deal with any of it. None of it. I want to climb under my blanket and hide, or at least sleep, or maybe just snuggle with my cats, or my boys, or my husband, whichever of them will sit with me for long enough (my bet is on Fat Momma Kitty, btw). The best part of my day for the past few months has been the first ten minutes, where I wake up in my husband's arms and for just a little bit it's just me and him, and things are simple and things are easy. And then the day starts and I get through it all well enough, but at the same time I sometimes  feel like I'm just going through the motions.

None of this makes any sense, I know. Maybe I'm just tired and need a vacation, a real vacation in which I do not have my body cut open and extraneous parts removed. Maybe my legs and my mind and my soul are all just exhausted. On balance, I have a good life, that I know. It's actually fairly spectacular most days, if not somewhat mundane & decidedly middle America. Recent events with several friends have emphasized that to me in a lot of different ways. My husband and I find each other much more appreciative of what's in front of us than we did six months ago because of it all. So I don't know what's going on to make me feel this way. Maybe I just need a nap & a big chunk of cheesecake. Maybe I'll regret posting this later. Who knows.

On a somewhat unrelated (but probably not) note: I think I killed my Tyler finisher rose plant. Boo.


mountain hardwear said...

I feel the same way too, and I realized that I feel this way when I am tired and burn out..take some time to relax..

Erika Beth, the Messy Chef said...

Don't worry. I felt that way yesterday too. I didn't think I had enough energy to hit the treadmill and do yoga, but I did it and it was great. Then I got home and vegged. Maybe it was a full moon yesterday? Maybe it's just seasonal depression. Whatever it is, at least we know that it doesn't last forever. :)