that I have a marathon in three days? Haven't registered yet, haven't thought out a race strategy (um, finish would be a good one..), haven't considered yet what I'm going to wear. Have never felt so utterly unprepared for anything (besides having children) in my life. In my delusional state of mind, though, instead of panicking, I'm thinking it bodes well.
Don't break the illusion. Please.
In other news, my new doctor put me back on high blood pressure medication. She basically said my previous doctor (the one who accused me of eating in the middle of the night, and BTW also the one who missed my mother-in-law's cancer diagnosis for three months...) was an idiot for telling me I didn't need them. I now need to have all kinds of tests to see what the last three years of living with borderline hypertension have done to my heart. I did convince her to let me wait until AFTER Sunday's race to start them. She bought it only because while my blood pressure is checking in at 160/95, my heart rate was 49. Yeah, my body is sooo jacked up.
She also told me that it seemed to her that I was doing all the right things to lose weight, and I was probably in the small percentage of people (who do exist! outside of my mind!) for whom diet and exercise and a negative calorie balance does not result in weight loss. I'm SPECIAL! F^#^% me.
But, hey, on the bright side: I have a marathon in three days!! Eeeep!
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