Wednesday, February 03, 2010

What gives?!

remember the other day, when the dude in my neighborhood reassured me that once I "got used" to running that it wouldn't be so hard?  It happened again!  Tonight I was at the gym, picking up TDP DinoBoy after my 5-mile workout, still dripping like I just stepped out of the shower, making small talk with the girl at the Kid's Club.  I mentioned how tired I was, and that I didn't feel like running at all, but because of The Streak* I really had no choice.  I said I was really glad that I'd actually driven to the gym (sad to miss the hockey game going on across town, though) and forced myself to do more than 2 miles.  That's when she nodded sympathetically to me and said, "Well. what's that they say?  It takes 21 days or so for something to be a habit?  You'll get there..."

ARGH!  Lady!  I've been running pretty much 4-5 or more times a week for the last SIX YEARS!  Yeah, it's kind of a habit by now!  grumble, grumble, grumble.

I *know* that I need to get over it, and not worry so much about what people think (when have I ever cared about what people think, anyway?).  But it's maddening that I've been busting my a$$ for the last month (and even though I came in short of my January mileage goal because of the week from hell last week) and booked 120 miles, but apparently, I look like someone who still needs to "develop the habit."  I'm about to undertake three full marathons in three months, and yet, "once I get used to it" it will be easier.  WTF?!

Is this just me that this happens to?  Am I overly sensitive to it?  Do I need to just build a bridge and get over it?  Not sure what to do about it, since it does really affect me mentally when it happens.  It's almost as if it feeds all the insecurities I have about whether I have any right to be out there on the road or in races.  bleargh.  I can't think too much about it today, I'm physically tired right now and really don't need to be mentally exhausted, too.

*The Streak is some inane idea I had in a fit of delusion on Monday wherein I challenged some of the hockey parents to a Run-Every-Day-in-February Streak.  It's Libby's fault.  Of course I did this (and they agreed!)  before realizing that at the end of next week, we have a five-day road trip to Colorado for a hockey tournament.   Yikes!  What did we just do?!  No matter, it's ON!!

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