it's 6:00 am

and I'm at the rink. have been for an hour. wheee!

I LOVE being home, can I tell ya? The BEST part? I'll be back here in about 12 hours for TDP's skating session. double-whee!

Ran yesterday -- 5 miles in just under an hour. getting faster, but just barely. Mostly, it feels good mentally to just run. And FYI, Tom Petty's greatest hits is fabulous running music!

it's not a good thing

when you turn on the car, and the car engine is on, but the dash is dark, right? like, comnpletely, totally off? Like, the little dials and gauges and the dealy that tells you how hot it is outside (um, that would be a Thermometer...) are all black? And the radio is on, but the display isn't? and you can't really drive, because you don't have any way to tell how fast you're going? And you don't know what song is playing, which is about the worst thing ever.

Crap. Guess I'll be spending the day at the Pontiac dealership tomorrow. Wheee.

still here, still running

still slow. I did the Nike Plus Human Race thingy on Sunday. I had to dust off the Nike+ receiver and tape it to the tongue of my shoe, and reclaim the iPod Nano from the boy to do it, but it was done. Very slowly. Even without the HR monitor (and, yes, I know, I probably set myself back even further by disregarding my HR for it, but I really just needed to run, y'know?) I still only managed slower than a 12:00/mile pace. Yes, it was hot, but still, that's just pathetic. I'm convinced it's the extra weight I'm carrying, and the fact that I spent the summer walking instead of running. Damn. But, hey, I participated in the biggest marketing event for Nike, so I'm still cool, right? Right?

anyway, that's it for now. just wanted to let everyone know that I hadn't drowned in my own sorrows yet. We have one more week to get a contract on our house or the builder sells our new one out from under us. Nice. We had about twelve showings over the weekend, which meant we couldn't even relax and enjoy ourselves at home since we always had to vacate the premises. A couple of them seem promising, but until we actually have something in writing, and they have decent credit, it's not worth geting our hopes up.

So, yeah, that's it. Whee.

Petty Thoughts

went for a run this morning. things just start out better when you hit the streets early, y'know? Of course, that didn't keep me from having a complete meltdown and verbally barfing on my trusty pal DK today. Something about getting a showing report that pretty much says, "We LOVED your house when we came by at 8:00 pm on a school night and measured the rooms, but we signed a contract on new construction the next day. Sorry, thanks!" that causes me to meltdown. Crazy me.

anyhoo, i also knew that I'd have to run this morning because tonight Hub and I have tickets to Tom Petty. Wahoo! We were originally going to drive down to Houston for Friday night's show since we didn't think I'd be in town during the week, but since I'm working from Casa de Skatemom these days, we traded them for tickets for the local show. Should be all kinds of fun, even with the drive to Dallas (ugh...). Might make it harder to get up in the morning for tomorrow's run, is all I'm saying...

Shoot Me Now

went running this morning, if you can call it that. very slow, because I didn't go out until after 7:00, so by the time I hit the streets, it was already in the 80s with a TON of humidity in the air. Five miles total, and because of the HR monitor and my inability to maintain a low heart rate while running, or even while walking uphill, in a total time of 1:09. I don't even want to do the math on that one (OK, I couldn't help it, I did the math: 13:48. SHOOT ME NOW). Whatever, at least I was able to pull myself out of bed this morning. Small victories and all that.

Alicia and I went for a 5-mile walk yesterday -- folks are using her neighborhood as a training route for the Komen 3-Day coming up in November, and she got nostalgic for our weekend long walks. So we fell right back into it, and finished 5 miles easy-peasy, no problem, are we done already?? It was nice to have time to catch up. Especially since weekends are going to start getting crammed soon with Scouts and hockey and all that stuff that takes up our time and fills our lives.

Anyhoo, it's Sunday, which around here means laundry day. Gotta make sure Elder Child has clean clothes for his first day of 8th grade. Jeez, louise, I have an 8th grader? Seriously, SHOOT ME NOW.

because I HATE having that post at the top

the pity party isn't over, not by any means. I'm still frustrated and upset by things that shouldn't bother me as much as they do. I think it's a general feeling of drifting, of not being in control of things, that is making me cranky and insane. On the surface, things are great, and underneath, they are still great. But for some reason (entitlement? selfishness? greed? All of the above?) I feel like I should have these other pieces fall into place as well. Is that so unreasonable? Probably it is, but those of you who know me in real life will not be surprised to hear me admit that tend to have, um, higher standards. I expect a lot of myself and of those around me. I expect to have things go my way, and when they don't go according to my well-laid-out plan, I kind of don't know how to deal. Like right now. I don't know how to deal with not being able to see visible results of all my efforts. I don't know how to deal with not being in control of the housing market, and the 72 foreclosures in my neighborhood that are driving my home's value into the sewer, of when and where my next work assignment is. I just don't like it. So does that help explain why I'm being such a grouch? Maybe, but probably not. If I were talking to myself, I'd probably tell myself to go build a bridge and get over it. Whatev.

anyhoo, I have only taken one day off this week, and that was Wednesday, when I was just so fried by things going on that I just couldn't bear going out into the hot Texas evening for a run. But besides that, I've stuck to the running, and have even fit in some flexibility and strength and balance stuff thanks to the Wii Fit pack we got last weekend. It's pretty awesome if not a bit elementary, but the kids love it, and I get some accountability with it if I don't log in and at least do a fit test every day. so it's pretty cool. I do like the way the little Mii voice says, "Measuring, measuring" at the beginning. We all walk around saying that now. I hate the balance games, since I am so uncoordinated, but the rest of the stuff seems pretty fun as we start to unlock things. I especially like the soccer game where they pelt soccer balls, cleats and pandas at you. Weird, yes, but hilarious at the same time.

so, I'm trying to get a better outlook on things and convince myself that things always end up the way they're supposed to and maybe I need to let some things go. It's not easy to do, that's for sure. But I'm trying. Really. I. Am. Wish me luck. Peace out folks for now.

apologies

for the radio silence. things are not working out the way I wanted them to with the house. as much as I tell myself that it doesn't matter, that we're still lucky to have what we have, it still sucks. couple that disappointment and frustration with continued physical issues, and I'm slipping into a funk here. trying to keep it together, but it's just hard. and reading how great all these other folks are doing with their training and their progress toward their physical goals is discouraging instead of motivating. I find myself envious and resentful that everyone else on the planet seems to have time and energy to work out, to go on these monumental rides, to run a flippin' 8:00/mile, even though they all have jobs and kids and husbands/wives/partners, and here I am, stuck three steps behind where I was last summer, with all these lofty goals and aspirations drifting further away instead of gaining the clarity of focus that comes with getting closer to those goals. I don't have enough time, and my energy is drained more quickly than I can replenish it, and my clothes don't fit, and my responsibilities are ever-shifting and oppressive and I can't fucking run any faster than 13-minute-miles without my damn HR monitor beeping at me, and I'm. just. tired.

so, yeah, forgive me if I don't post today. You wouldn't want to read it anyway.

It Only Hurts a Little Bit...

so, I didn't run today (and won't, even though it's not quite 9:00 PM). I meant to run early this morning, before leaving for the championship playoff game at the rink. But the game started at 8:00, so we had to leave by 6:45ish, which would have meant getting up at 5:00ish to be out and back and showered in time. So, um, no. I'm all about the commitment and all, but it IS Saturday. Come on. Seriously.

So Plan B was to grab a run at the gym this afternoon, after the game. But that didn't happen. Why? Because we spent the morning after the game at the ER. Yeah, the thing about hockey is that there are injuries aplenty, especially when the game gets physical, like it did with these two teams, who have been rivals all season long. So, when push came to shove, and Elder Child was between the shover and the boards, something had to give. And that something turned out to be his collarbone.

The good news? It wasn't the one he broke a couple of years ago... the bad news? It hurts just as much as the one from a couple of years ago. Oy. So, yeah, we spent the day tending to my little chick with his broken wing. Poor guy. He didn't want to leave the rink until after the game was over, even though it happened in the first five minutes of the game. He actually only had about two full shifts before he got dinged, and while he tried to go out for a third, it was painfully evident that it wasn't going to help the team for him to be out there. So he watched the rest of the game with an ice pack on his shoulder, pads out, helmet on, standing off the bench and cheering the team on between grimaces. He did get the game puck, and the team did win, so he showed up at the hospital afterward wearing his medal. Very nice. And when they asked when it happened, we had to sheepishly say, "um, about two hours ago... he didn't want to leave the game, the post-game photos, and the locker room party..." and feel like real winners in the parenting game.




Whatever, he wouldn't have left if he was doing a Monty Python one-arm missing with blood spurting, not at this game. It was close at first, and very intense, and his team pulled it out. The core of this team has played together since they were about nine years old, so it was very bittersweet that this is the last season they'll all be on the same team. This fall, they scatter to different travel teams, JV teams, or house teams in different age groups. So this was special. And a run didn't seem to be as important today as I thought, when it was all said and done. I'll hit the streets for a good hour+ run tomorrow morning, since the only activity on the docket (besides laundry) had been the first day of hockey camp. Yeah.

Peace out folks, it's almost time to watch MP make history. Catch you on the other side.

short update

ran Wednesday -- just under 46 minutes; 13:11/mile pace
ran Thursday -- just over 49 minutes; 13:08/mile pace
ran Friday -- just under 42 minutes; 13:07/mile pace
I LIKE that trend. Getting this HR thing under control.

Saw Clone Wars -- pretty good for a cartoon

Hub got me an iPod Touch for our anniversary -- HE ROCKS!!

Michael Phelps -- unfreakin' believable

Hockey, hockey, hockey -- that has become my life. Which is not a bad thing. Especially when it's 100+ degrees outside! The rink is nice and cool -- sometimes too cool!

Gotta run -- early playoff game tomorrow AM, so I need to run early to get back and be ready to head out to the rink.

Small Victory -- Even though it was raining (with lightning and thunder) this morning and I didn't run outside, and even though we were trying to get to the movie by 6:30, I jumped on the treadmill for 42 minutes and got the workout in. It would have been SOOOO easy to skip it altogether, but I didn't do it. Go me!

make it happen

so, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I made it happen today, when I could have very easily bailed.

I tried to run this morning, but I got followed by a little dog, who I was sure was going to get hit by a car since he kept coming behind me, even when I tried to cross streets and get away from him. He seemed pretty well trained and very friendly, but he was filthy, no collar, and was limping on occasion. I couldn't keep going to the park knowing he was behind me, so I turned back after about half a mile and called animal control. I tried to put the little guy in the back yard to keep him safe until they arrived, but the little booger dug out in about three minutes. I found him three doors down eating toast with the neighbors. I went back outside and sat with him on the front porch while I worked, waiting until the animal control folks showed up, but I ended up having to go inside after about two hours. The morning run that I have come to rely on just didn't happen.

Then, I worked most of the day, in between feeding the kids, shuttling them to grandma's, and finding the last few required school supplies. Then, dinner, a few last emails, and the last episode of Season 1 of Dexter. OMG, I LOVE!! Dexter! I can't believe we didn't know about this show until now. We must find Season 2 ASAP! Anyhoo, once I got the boys to bed and caught up on the Olympics (GO MICHAEL PHELPS! Sidebar: WHEN DOES HE BREATHE??? He amazes me, plain and simple.), I decided that I had to go out. So it was 9:45? So what? I needed to run. So I did. I added on to this morning's run cut short, and ended up with the following for the day:

Time: 56:50
Mileage: 4.3
Pace: 13:13
Avg HR: 133

That is all. Gotta blast -- TDP DinoBoy starts 2nd grade tomorrow, so we have to get to bed soon.